Thursday, August 5, 2010

Dear Diary,

I woke up this morning and felt like it was going to be one of those days where I feel good about myself. I've been working out everyday, eating healthy and most importantly NOT beating myself up about the last 10 baby lbs I still have to lose. Today was the day I would "weigh in" and see my awesome progress. I got out of bed and went straight to the scale. Well... actually I went straight to the toilet thinking an ounce of pee would really make a difference. It didn't. My "ready for the day" additude quickly turned to disappointment. I don't know if it's muscle gain, water weight, blah blah blah... I was mad at myself. For what, I don't know. I've been working hard and eating right but still not seeing much of a difference. I'm a girl who likes to see results, not just feel them. SO... while I was bummed out and flipping through pages on fabo while eating my egg whites and fresh baked spelt blueberry muffin (recipe to come. they're amazing!), and trying to cheer myself up I found a few pictures I'd like to share...

Yummy, I know. After seeing this picture I quickly got ready and went to the gym. Suddenly it had nothing to do with my vanity. I was running for my life from the yellow blob that would haunt me if I decided to stay wallowing in the wake of my disappointing weigh in. I was thinking if I have to have one or the other I would rather not have the yellow mush hiding under my skin, flopping over my jeans, bouncing as I play with my kids, clogging my arteries and making it hard for me to just breath let alone live a full life. Which brings me to my next picture...

No one asks for the fat or the clogged arteries. It just all sneaks up on you when you're not look-...

...Oh wait... yes we do ask for it. It's hiding in our everyday choices. But it is, in fact, OUR choices. Even the little ones. Maybe this burger made me feel good for about 10 minutes while I drooled all over it but I have to think about how it made me feel this morning. Maybe I haven't eaten like this for a long time but it's still with me. I'm still trying to stuff it into my favorite pair of jeans. It all starts with a choice.

I pick the red muscle, the normal artery, the healthy life. Maybe I wont end up looking smokin' hot in my bathing suit (I say that still hoping it's a perk) but I'll be able to play with my kids without getting out of breath easily. I'll feel healthier so my husband can quit listening to me whine about not feeling that great, poor guy. I'm making a choice to be healthy even if the scale doesn't tip in my direction. I'll do it for my husband, my kids, and myself. Maybe I wont reach my goal weight by my goal date but I'll give myself the chance. Tomorrow is another day.... to choose.


  1. Remember when Bobby would say "Dear Diary..." in Guyana?

    You look amazing. Last ten lbs or not...I say "that's silly" with compassion--not to minimize how much it means to you, but to say, I think you look wonderful just the way you are.

  2. haha! i was thinking about that when i first wrote "dear diary". good times :)

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